Doing What I Love

About three months ago I was given the opportunity to work with Special Needs children in a middle school. What I do is aide 8 children with different needs in their classrooms. Basically I am being paid to go back to middle school, take notes and make sure that my children are safe and staying on task. It sounds pretty easy right? Well it can be very challenging. These kids are so different from each other and very important to me. Although they may be a hand full almost all day, these children are so precious and really do change the way you see not only learning, teaching, but how no matter what the challenges they may have, they are able to learn with the correct materials and great teachers who push and never give up.

Going back a few months, I was a teacher of my own classroom. I taught preschool, 3-5 year olds in a small wonderful school in Hawai’i. Now, teaching preschool has been the best time of my career. It taught me how to better teach children and how to go far and beyond for children in their learning. Now I do miss teaching preschool but I do have to say that teaching middle school Special Education has been a blessing to me. Not only is it opening my eyes to new in teaching children but it is opening my heart even more and realizing that no matter how difficult children may be or how difficult their needs are, they can learn anything and everything, all they need are special teachers. I want to be that kind of teacher!

These kids are teaching me so much more and I thank God for allowing me to work with some great children who make me happy to see them succeed in school. I am still steering towards teaching preschool in the future but so far I am going to soak up everything I can where I am at now.

I hope I did not offend anyone reading this post. I truly enjoy what I am doing and supporting children in their learning.

May God Bless You All!

Jessica ❤

Molding Clay In My Pocket

So far so good. I have been doing great with my job, great taking care of my doggie, my husband and most importantly, taking care of myself.

A few weeks ago I tried to promise myself that I will learn how to take care of myself both physically and mentally. As we all ready know I get anxiety attacks and just have overall worries about anything and everything. So I have decided that it was time to take care of my overall health, which seems pretty fair to me. I started off by learning a little more on how other people deal with their stress and anxieties on a daily basis. I know that may seem silly but really I didn’t know how to really deal with it myself. It already feels as if I am alone in this, so why not learn from others.

As the days went on, I have been talking to myself, in my mind of course, saying that everything is great and getting myself pumped up for the day. I have been looking more at the positive things again because somewhere along the lines, I have forgotten to ignore the negatives. So as my days are starting to roll I make sure that I am not forgetting to breath (I know sounds silly) and just keeping a smile on my face.

It’s the little things that really help me through the day. I get to remind myself that I get to come home and see my dog and see my family and my favorite part of the day, get to relax and be in bed. It seems like a lot of times all I want to do is just lie in bed and not be around people but I understand that that is not living. I have to get up every morning and live. As much as I would feel more comfortable being in bed starring at the ceiling fan, I need to get up and live. At the end of the day I get to reward myself with a nice warm bed and comfy pillows to just lie there until I fall asleep.

There comes a point where it is not fair to just shut everyone out because of certain anxieties. It’s not fair to others and especially not to yourself. Although a rough day at work stresses me out, I can prove to myself that I can control these anxieties by looking at the good in the day and just taking a few minutes in the bathroom or anywhere really to just breath!

What has been helping me also is playing with a small piece of molding clay. I have a little container small enough to fit in my jacket pocket and put a piece of clay in there. When I see myself messing with my nails, my ring, my hands, I get the clay out and just squish it and mold it. Within a few minutes I get those compulsive urges out of my system and go on with my day. It’s simple but so much fun. Anything that works I think is great. Either way, I know that I have to get my mind back on track. It is not all about keeping yourself healthy physically but it is also important to get your mental health on it’s best shape possible. I am doing it for myself. I hope that everyone takes time during the day to just relax and breath. It helps sooth your soul and keep your mind fresh. We all need to be healthy physically but most importantly healthy mentally.

May God Bless You all!

Jessica ❤

Why So…Sensitive?

I’ll get to the bottom of it…I have been really sensitive lately and it has nothing to do with who I am taking to or what I am doing, it is just a burst of emotion that gets me. It’s silly really. Why does this happen? So things bug me, that doesn’t make me a bad person right, for wanting space or wanting to let off some steam.

What I need is a good way to just let go of things and help me relax. Any ideas that may help? I think I need to learn to play the drums. It’s actually something I have always wanted to play but never did. That would be an awesome way to let off some steam. If anyone knows other ways please let me know.

Maybe I need to sleep a little longer. I always try to fall asleep early but can’t and I always end up waking up around 6am. I always look forward to Saturdays because every Saturday is when I convince myself that I will wake up late but I end up laying in bed early in the morning, not able to stay asleep past 7am. Ahh the perks of being an adult…not!

Either way, I am glad I have gotten a little better in dealing with things. I still have a lot to learn and a lot to manage but I think as of right now I am getting the ball in motion. Thank You WordPress for letting me let out my thoughts and Thank You to any readers that may actually take the time to read my silly rants.

May God Bless You All!!

It’s Time To Talk

The past few weeks I have been in such a stump with myself and it has caused me to not love myself very much. It’s just been one of those months where I am just fed up with what I do and what I don’t do, all that junk. I wanted to let my readers know that I will begin writing again about my everyday struggles that I have been having with my anxiety and just how everything has been for me. I know that writing really helps me get things out and actually helps me unwind and let go of what may be on my mind, so I am looking forward to writing at least three times a week. It is not only something that will help me but I also still wish to help others and get feedback on how others deal with their everyday lives, anxiety, etc.

I want to touch base on what has been going on in my life these past few weeks. My job is great. I am still learning how to better assist children with special needs but let me tell you, it is teaching me how to better deal with myself. I see these children deal with stressful situations and I feel for them. I understand their struggles they may be having with themselves and it just shows me how important it is to have people there just for comfort. Speaking of comfort, I had the opportunity to show my husband some short videos on anxiety and how it affects people who struggle with it. He was upset with me awhile ago because I have been in such an uncomfortable place with myself and been getting anxiety attacks, so I had to try to show him what I go through and why it may happen. It helped a little. He understands a little more and is a little more supportive about it which is great for me. I think this month has been tough on me because right before New Years Day my dog passed away in a very ugly way and it was something that I can not get out of my mind. In fact I know for sure that it has been triggering some anxiety especially since I feel for my other dog, she lost her buddy….

Well that was just a small piece of why I have been away for so long, but I am hoping that I get out of this stump and get cheery again. I love writing and I love reading everyone’s posts. I can’t wait to hear what all of you have to say and also can’t wait to share my life with you all again!!

 

Are You In The Dark?

When the lights go out and the bell rings, I’m ready for you, are you ready for me?

Sometimes life is just infair. Life can grab you and swing you like a rag doll. So why let it?

When you feel like you were left in the dark, stand up and get ready. Don’t let yourself get stepped on. Remember that God is on your side. If you are left in the dark, ask God to light your path. He will never let you walk alone. So don’t be scared, stand up and keep going! Get ready!

Yay December!

I am so excited that it is finally December. I love being in the holiday spirit full of family and love. Even though all of this fun Holiday spirit has me in a good mood, I just have to say that I hate hearing Christmas music everywhere and smelling cinnamon everywhere also, gross. In my opinion of course. Other than that, it is my favorite time of the year.

So this past week I have been thinking about my new job. I love being with kids and watching them grow. I am recently an Aide for Special Education and I have to say I have no experience with special needs childern and it is very tough. I am more comfortable in a pre-school setting but I know God put me in this Special needs classroom for a reason. I do have to say that these kids are changing my life. I may not know much about them or their needs but they have taught me so much already. They are teaching me how to deal with anxiety and how they really need someone who believes in them. They are so sweet and a little tricky at times but thank God for this opportunity.

I am still going work for my certification for Early Education because I can’t deny that my place is in a pre-school. I feel very grateful and I have so much joy in me because of these kids. My advice for everyone is, if something is a challenge and you think it’s not for you, just give it all you got. God puts you in different places for a reason, so why not learn from them.

May God Bless You All!

Christmas Shopping!

Today, my husband and I woke up early to treat his mother to breakfast. We went to a Mexican restaurant and we ate till we couldn’t stand up! We also went Christmas Shopping and I love Christmas Shopping. I don’t like all of the people stumbling and pushing but I think it is a great time of the year. Now that my sister and my close cousins are older I am having trouble looking for gifts. Most of them are now teenagers and I am debating on just giving them gift cards so they can pick their own presents.

Thanksgiving is also just a day away and again I can’t wait to spend the time with my family. It seems as if everyone is growing up and going their separate way and having this time to get together gets me so excited. Although I do have to say that it brings me much joy to see my family grow up, especially my sister and cousins. I am the oldest (at least 7 years older) from my sister and my cousins so it allows me to watch them grow up and make their own decisions.

Tomorrow I am making my deserts for Thanksgiving Day and Maybe I will post the recipes for the Mini Oreo Cheese Cakes and the Nilla Waffer Pudding which you all may already know because it is extremely easy. Hope you all have a great rest of your day!

May God Bless You!

Family Time

So I have decided to try to post everyday to see how it goes and if I am able to do it. Lately my anxiety has calmed down. I have been feeling pretty great the past week and I just want share my days with my readers.

Today was a lazy day. It was a little chilly outside and we stayed in and watch movies on our new tv. My husband somehow installed an app called ShowBox and we are now able to watch all kinds of movies. So, we all sat around and started watching movies. It was a great way to just be with my family but in all honesty it was kind of boring. In fact we were all a little bored. Because it was gloomy and chilly outside we did not really have the energy to go out and just have some fun. Either way staying home is ok. I love being with my family. They make me happy and I thank God for them.

I was thinking about Thanks Giving. And it reminded me that tomorrow, the 24th is the tenth year since my grandmother past away. I have learned to not think about it which is probably why I am just remembering now. My grandmother was my best friend. I know I should be sad about her death but honestly I am not sad. Not because I don’t miss her because I do, but because I know she was a wonderful woman who would literally take the cloths off her back to give to those in need. She always guided me to do what’s best. I know God took her away for a beautiful reason and I should not have any negative feelings towards Him and His decision.

Either way I am so excited for Thanksgiving Day. I love spending time with my whole family. We have so much fun and there is so much love. I give thanks to God everyday for my family and of course can’t wait to stuff my face.

🙂 May God Bless You All!

 

What Have I Been Up To?

For the past two weeks I have been on a great journey to the new chapter in my life. First off, I am grateful to say that I have finally received my degree in Early Childhood Education. I have been in so much conflict with councilors and teachers about my classes and portfolios. Long story short, I finished my degree plan and councilors were telling me that I was missing many classes. It took about a year to prove that I have completed classes and you name it. Finally I have my degree in my hand and no one will ever take it away. I thank God that He was with me throughout this crazy year.

Well I finally got my degree and what happened next? I received a call from a middle school telling me that I have been offered a job for a Special Education Aide. I took the job and within that week I was in the classroom and I am so grateful! I have to admit that middle school was never on my mind when applying for a job but I know God puts things in front of us that he knows will just turn out great. Another thing is Special Education. I have no idea how to go about being in a special education classroom but let me tell you, I love these kids. I know that God put me in this classroom for a reason and I will do my best for these children because everyone deserves a great education and it takes special teachers.

I can not believe where I am today and I thank God for always showing me the beautiful miracles that he can do. I have only worked for three days yet I can already see why I was put in the classroom I am in. God is wonderful and I can’t wait to see what he has in store for me next.

I hope that you all take chances and go out of your comfort zone when you have a chance. You never know what God has in store for you. Take chances! Have faith in God that he will guide you.

May God Bless You All!

To Me, From Me

Dear Me,

I wanted to remind you that your life, whether it is difficult or not, is beautiful. You have worked hard to get to where you are and you should never be ashamed of it nor feel like it does not matter. Strive to do better, always, and you will go so far. Always remember that life is a gift that we need to take care of. Never take anything for granted. Push hate out of your heart and stuff it with love. Don’t be afraid of people’s opinions. You make sure you are heard! Have faith in God and in yourself. You are wonderful and that is all that matters! So smile everyday, look at negatives in a positive way and move on!

Sincerely,

Yourself!