I began to get this deep feeling in my soul to pray. I went to my secret place and I started praying what was in my heart. I started asking God why I am going through this trouble in my life because there are many things he has shown his miricals on. I felt and I told God that I feel I am being left behind, I am not being shown the miricale that I have been praying for. Instantly I felt a thought come into my mind saying, “just keep praying for your husband.” Just keep praying!! I understood that that was what God is trying to tell me, to just keep praying and try to stay calm. I realized that I am here to pray for my husband. I am not here to tell God that he hasn’t answered my prayers. I need to understand that God heard my prayers and is working on them as his will requires. I understood that God is working and I need to just keep praying.
As hard as it is to wait, I need to keep my faith in God. I know he has done the same miracles in my family with my grandpa, and my dad so I know that he hears me an I know he is working on my prayer. I told God that I am bowing at his feet and giving him my petition to save my husband and bring us together again. I lied it all onto his feet and I cried out with my soul trusting him that everything will be ok. I want to be my husbands light, Chris will know God through me. And I prayed that God uses me in that way!
I struggle to keep my faith and I asked God for forgiveness. He has blessed me so much and I feel sad that I do lose trust. I am fighting my own spiritual battle.