God Vs. My Marriage

Let me start off by saying that I am a true believer in the Lord and I admit that from the time I got married up until two weeks ago my spiritual connection with God has gotten smaller and smaller.

I want to continue by saying that my husband HATES the Lord. He just doesn’t want anything to do with God at all. That should have been a sign for me. I was blinded by love to see that Chris did not love God as I did. We have been having hardship for a few months now and it has just been getting worse. I was blinded by the Devil and was not connected with God anymore. I lost my way through all the fighting and the arguments.

Two weeks ago my husband left. He told me straight out “I don’t love you anymore.” Wow! that broke my heart. Let me tell you I tried to fix it, I tried to get him to remember the good and we could work things out…it was too late. Within two days he was gone. He left to Colorado to visit his friends…turns out that he took another women with him. Now that broke me even more. I cried and blamed myself for not being enough for him. I was trying to think back on how I could have saved this marriage.

I couldn’t save this marriage. I was lost in my own emotions and my broken heart. Now let me tell you something, when the Holy Spirit says its time to change, it’s time to change. Oh boy how hard did God hit my with his Holy Spirit. He showed me that I have lost my way and I needed to get back to my spiritual connection with God. Now don’t get me wrong, I am still in a lot of pain but my husband and this girl have been gone for two weeks now and I am learning to put my trust in God and allow him to work on me. I am praying everyday for my husband to also be hit by the Holy Spirit and find his way. Call me stupid but we are still married and as his wife I need to get down on my knees and pray for my husband.

I am still angry but I try my best to give all my emotions and my worries to the Lord. I am working on having my connection back with God because He is my true Love. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I will better myself and I will be VICTORIOUS in the name of the Lord all mighty! My husband will be saved!

I am still going through tribulations and worries but I have the support of my family and now getting closer to the word of God. I ask my readers to say a small prayer for me and my husband and continue to stay strong in your Faith as well. I will give updates on how wonderful God has been working in my life and I want to express the Glory of God and spread his word on how he is the answer to everything!

“Wait on the Lord, be of good courage…”  -Psalm 27:14

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4 thoughts on “God Vs. My Marriage

  1. Hi Jessica, thank you for sharing your story. I understand the pain you are going through and the feeling of mistake you have. Yes it is good to pray for our enemies, however you are important as well and need prayer. You know when Jesus was on the mountain he prayed to God until he sweat blood asking if this cup could be removed from him, however he ended it with God your will be done not mine. I don’t know what the will of God is in your life, however I do know that you need to get to the point were you can pray with your heart: God your will be done not mine, whatever God’s will is. I made it and so can you, I was never married ( close to yes however I prayed before and it did not happen) but I went through things hence the reason I understand you. It has been two years and I understand now why it did not work out and I agree and thank God for it. Yours might end different I don’t know but for now work on letting go and wanting God’s will for your life. God will be there with you, hold on to Jesus there is nothing better than God and living with him. You can read some of my story on my blog in different blog posts. Please just know that nobody is worth taking you away from God, quite the opposite people should bring you closer to God. I know it’s hard when you love someone but remember how God feels when we move away from him, he loves us so much more then we could ever love anybody. Sorry for the long comment, may God bless you.

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    • Thank You so much! I am working on getting closer to God. I have realized how much I missed God. I know God has never left me, he always blesses me even when I for got him. I am going through though times but I know I am victorious! Right now I am asking for guidance. I honestly don’t know what to do from here. Do I divorce him or do I keep praying and waiting? But I know I need to be still and wait on the Lord…Thank you so much for your support! God Bless You!

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      • Good I’m happy to hear that. That is a good question that only God can answer and yes needs allot of prayer. Leave that in God’s hands he will give you the answers on time. Keep looking for God, read the Bible, pray look at sermons on YouTube go to church. Pick back up your life and leave the rest to God. Be blessed.

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