Desperate For God

I began to get this deep feeling in my soul to pray. I went to my secret place and I started praying what was in my heart. I started asking God why I am going through this trouble in my life because there are many things he has shown his miricals on. I felt and I told God that I feel I am being left behind, I am not being shown the miricale that I have been praying for. Instantly I felt a thought come into my mind saying, “just keep praying for your husband.” Just keep praying!! I understood that that was what God is trying to tell me, to just keep praying and try to stay calm. I realized that I am here to pray for my husband. I am not here to tell God that he hasn’t answered my prayers. I need to understand that God heard my prayers and is working on them as his will requires. I understood that God is working and I need to just keep praying.

As hard as it is to wait, I need to keep my faith in God. I know he has done the same miracles in my family with my grandpa, and my dad so I know that he hears me an I know he is working on my prayer. I told God that I am bowing at his feet and giving him my petition to save my husband and bring us together again. I lied it all onto his feet and I cried out with my soul trusting him that everything will be ok. I want to be my husbands light, Chris will know God through me. And I prayed that God uses me in that way!

I struggle to keep my faith and I asked God for forgiveness. He has blessed me so much and I feel sad that I do lose trust. I am fighting my own spiritual battle.


Declaring For Shackles To Be Broken

I started off my day great! It was the first day that I have felt as if some weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I am working of being more faithful to the Lord and throughout the day I fought my negative thought and tried my best to replace them with the word of God. I know that a lot of people are going through troubles and are having a hard time staying focused on the Lord. I know because I am struggling with it myself.

My husband began texting me again and telling me he missed me. I know he moved away and I know he went with that girl he cheated with. I also know that if I want to be strong in God, I should not let the Devil try to suck me back in. I know my husband is in the wrong and I know that one day he will be saved. I will continue to pray and ask God for guidance. I love my husband, even now after all this, but God is first in my life and when or if he decides to bring my husband back than Praise God!

I will not be shackled anymore. I know I have to sign the divorce papers and continue to pray for Chris. I know God has a plan for Chris. I pray that Chris’ shackles get broken too! I will be strong and courageous.

God Vs. My Marriage

Let me start off by saying that I am a true believer in the Lord and I admit that from the time I got married up until two weeks ago my spiritual connection with God has gotten smaller and smaller.

I want to continue by saying that my husband HATES the Lord. He just doesn’t want anything to do with God at all. That should have been a sign for me. I was blinded by love to see that Chris did not love God as I did. We have been having hardship for a few months now and it has just been getting worse. I was blinded by the Devil and was not connected with God anymore. I lost my way through all the fighting and the arguments.

Two weeks ago my husband left. He told me straight out “I don’t love you anymore.” Wow! that broke my heart. Let me tell you I tried to fix it, I tried to get him to remember the good and we could work things out…it was too late. Within two days he was gone. He left to Colorado to visit his friends…turns out that he took another women with him. Now that broke me even more. I cried and blamed myself for not being enough for him. I was trying to think back on how I could have saved this marriage.

I couldn’t save this marriage. I was lost in my own emotions and my broken heart. Now let me tell you something, when the Holy Spirit says its time to change, it’s time to change. Oh boy how hard did God hit my with his Holy Spirit. He showed me that I have lost my way and I needed to get back to my spiritual connection with God. Now don’t get me wrong, I am still in a lot of pain but my husband and this girl have been gone for two weeks now and I am learning to put my trust in God and allow him to work on me. I am praying everyday for my husband to also be hit by the Holy Spirit and find his way. Call me stupid but we are still married and as his wife I need to get down on my knees and pray for my husband.

I am still angry but I try my best to give all my emotions and my worries to the Lord. I am working on having my connection back with God because He is my true Love. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I will better myself and I will be VICTORIOUS in the name of the Lord all mighty! My husband will be saved!

I am still going through tribulations and worries but I have the support of my family and now getting closer to the word of God. I ask my readers to say a small prayer for me and my husband and continue to stay strong in your Faith as well. I will give updates on how wonderful God has been working in my life and I want to express the Glory of God and spread his word on how he is the answer to everything!

“Wait on the Lord, be of good courage…”  -Psalm 27:14