I know the new year is about two months away but I have been thinking about some stuff that I absolutely hate about myself and would love to change. Now when I say “hate about myself,” I do not mean I hate everything about me; these are just some things that I have noticed that has impact my life in a negative way and would love to make better.
The first thing I would love to work on is my perfection, not that I am perfect, I just need things MY way. Now this has been getting in the way of my marriage. Not to get too personal but yes, it has. My husband recently got out of the Marines, yesterday to be exact, but he has been on leave for almost two months. So as you can imagine, a Marine is always being told what to do by the government so my husband has been in the “I don’t have to listen to anyone anymore” mode. I do tell him a lot on how he should do things blah blah and he has been getting upset. Now, the things that we fuss about are the smallest things, “your hair is getting too long, your beard looks shabby, why are you going to wear that again…” things like that. I have been noticing that these things that I nag about are not things that are life threatening, so why am I fussing? It’s because things need to be my way. I understand now that my husband is trying to be “free,” free from the military, free from all of those rules. So yes that is one of my biggest new years resolutions, I just want to go with the flow with out having these anxieties about the silliest things. My husband is not doing anything wrong he just wants to be himself. I want to learn to be more down to Earth and just be happy.
Lately my anxieties have been through the roof which just makes things worse. In fact, I think that is why I have been fussing over the silliest things. I hope I don’t look like the bad one, me and my husband have a great relationship and love each other very much. He understands that I have anxieties and just brushes things off but I would like to not have these moments. Why should he have to brush them off when I can learn to just CHILL OUT. No one is perfect so why am I so picky about things?
My second resolution is leaning to relax. Finding things that make me happy and just learn to trust in God that he will guide me and be with me. Recently I have been forgetting that God is on my side and have been freaking out about things. I need to just trust in God and do my part and all will be ok. Why stress? There is no need to worry when the Lord is on my side.
I am sure I’ll have more to add before the new year but for now these are my main resolutions. Things have been crazy for us so I just wanted to let things out on my blog and be honest with myself and just fix things. I want to get things out there and get the ball rolling, so I think I am going to start practicing those changes now!
Thanks for reading/listening! May God Bless You all!